Family conversations

If you are like me, you will be spending a lot of time with family and friends this holiday season. I often encourage clients to use this family time as an opportunity to discuss their estate plan and as a way to instill values in their children or grandchildren. I was recently reminded of this by Warren Buffett’s most recent shareholder letter, where his one suggestion to all parents, whether they are of modest or staggering wealth, was when your children are mature, have them read your will before you sign it.
While it might not sound like the merriest conversation to have around the dinner table, it can often help avoid surprises and even increase family harmony. Families that speak freely about these matters might avoid surprises and can oftentimes make better plans involving choice of Executor or Trustee, succession plans for a family business, and long-term care decisions.
If you have never considered an estate plan, this might be a good time to seek your family’s opinion. As Warren Buffett continued in his letter, be sure each child understands both the logic for your decisions and the responsibilities they will encounter upon your death. You don’t want your children asking “Why?” in respect to testamentary decisions when you are no longer able to respond.
The conversation might be less about what the family thinks of your current estate plan and more about what the family’s role is in the event of your incapacity or death. It is important to let the person you have named as your agent under a Power of Attorney, Executor or Trustee know that they have been named, in order that they understand their responsibilities. It might even be a good idea to introduce your Executor or Trustee to your estate planning attorney.
These conversations can also encourage your children to consider their own estate plan, including naming a guardian for their minor children through their Last Will and Testament, or setting up a family trust.
How each family handles these delicate conversations depends on personalities and preferences of the family. Perhaps this conversation should be held through a series of talks instead of one large one. It might be best to talk only to the child(ren) you have named as Executor or Trustee, or even to talk separately to each child to hear their opinions and fears.









